It never ceases to amaze me how often people THINK they’re paying me a compliment, or just making benign passing statements, when their actual words are packed with insulting insinuations or assumptions that are subtle put-downs.
When it happens, since it seems like an innocent/ignorant error, I don’t usually take the time to point out to the Insulter how what they just said was kinda fucked up. This is a course of action that preserves harmony, but leaves me feeling unsettled.
After recently receiving yet another backhanded compliment, I decided to fuel my mildly simmering rage into a creative outlet: I made a little bitty video about it. An instructional video. Feel free to share.
All of the backhanded compliments in this video’s skits are things that people have actually said to me, though the names and identifying details have been changed. 😉
Gawd, I wish schools were required to teach communication skills! If you’re a teacher and want a G-rated edited version of this video for your classroom, just lemme know and I’ll get it to you.